Tag Archives: disabilities

Chemistry

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It’s been awhile. Crazy thing called life. Three graduations and a birthday later, I now find time to write again. And today’s topic….precipitate.

You see, some blockhead on a social media site is spouting that very tired line of if you are not part of the solution, you are part of the problem.  It’s neat, tidy sayings like this that made Zig Zigler a billionaire. But, in everyday life, they are cop outs. Sound bites designed to make you feel good about buying into someone else’s philosophies. Literally, paying to let someone think for you.

People like that make me very happy to have a different perspective on life. I know I’m changing the things I can, usually for the better. I don’t need someone else to hand me my words or even justify my actions. Honestly, you should feel good about your decisions. I’m not talking about second guessing yourself, because, well, that’s what we all do. I’m talking about using your own words to express your own thoughts.

But wait, each statement is (in American English) is just a different combination of 26 letters. Therefore, it is not unique. Ohhhhh…another sound bite!

The blockhead continued to use sound bites to “argue” something. The part that um, upset me, is the assumption of stupidity on my behalf. Oh, and all the clichés. The prattling on about how someone who has experience with disabilities would know better. The assumption that all disabilities are equal. And, the coup d’état, that their voice speaks for all people with disabilities. Can you say “drink the Kool Aid?”

There are all these nifty sound bites out there that make people feel like they sound intelligent. There’s also a whole vocabulary that is politically correct, even if those being described don’t agree with the terminology. And the people who think they are being helpful for “supporting the agenda” when in fact, they only make things worse. Sometimes, no support is better than “holier than thou” support.

There you have it. I guess I’m a precipitate because I didn’t buy into the sound bites. If you have any doubt about my involvement in speaking up and out, feel free to read further into the blog. I’ve been writing for almost 2 years now. I believe you’ll find that while I’ve softened some of my stances, I’m still talking about the things that matter to me. I don’t need a sound bite to validate me.

Here’s your sound bite….if you’re not part of the solution, you are the precipitate..

 

 

 

Challenges

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Truth is, I’ll never know all there is to know about you just as you will never know all there is to know about me. Humans are by nature too complicated to be understood fully. So we can choose either to approach our fellow human beings with suspicion or to approach them with an open mind, a dash of optimism and a great deal of candor.~ Tom Hanks

 

I discovered this past week that I have not been communicating as clearly as I could have been. I’m sure many of you have read blogs about what people with chronic illness want you to do. But, it seems that the affected person needs to do some things as well. Here’s my new list:

Never apologize for who you are. It gets on people’s nerves.

Stay in touch with the people you want in your life. If you make the effort, so will they.

Focus on the relationship, not your problems. Unless the person has specifically asked, they don’t want a medical tutorial.

It’s ok to say no. Just try to reschedule as soon as possible.

Friends want to be with you but may feel awkward. Acknowledge that you understand and ask them if they have questions you  can answer.

Focus on things you can do. Enjoy the time you have together with no regrets.

Finally, it’s not all about me. Relationships are two-way streets. Everyone has challenges and wants to talk about them. Don’t trivialize their concerns/situations just because you “have it worse.” It’s not a contest.

Come to think of it…this list applies to everyone. Whenever you hit a speed bump, keep these things in mind and hopefully you’ll get past that bump quickly.