On Your Time

Oh, the dilemma. I like to do social things. I like being included. I like receiving invitations.

But, those have dried up for a variety of reasons. My health is unpredictable. My “friends” tell me they don’t want to burden me with their requests. Some people have decided that Autism is a deal breaker. Others just faded away.

Then there’s the flip side. I ask, plan and then get turned down at the last-minute. Sometimes I have gone above and beyond. Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe I try too hard.

Then I wonder what’s wrong with me. Why do people turn me down. What can I change. What am I doing wrong. I can’t get unstuck from “me” being the problem.

In reality, other people are making choices. We all get to choose who we hang out with, what activities we do and so on. I can’t make those choices for other people. I can make myself available, that’s  it.

Whether I’m traveling across my city or across the country, it’s their choice. I don’t like that people have led me on, making plans and then cancelling. Or choosing a “better” option. It hurts, a lot. Everyone has a reason and I guess my job is to accept and move on.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s