World What?

April 2nd. Wear blue. Change a light bulb. Give money. Raise money at a walk for an organization that doesn’t give a rat’s behind about Autistics. Go you!

Seriously. If I ask 100 people if they know the word “Autism,” 99 will say yes. There’s your awareness. I ask the same 100 people what Autism “is” and 30 of them will know. Ask them if they know someone with Autism and 10 will raise their hands.

Therein lies the problem. You are aware of Autism. Cool. Now what? You know the name of a neurological condition. Good on you.

Now, try something new. You are reading my blog, so you  sort of know someone with Autism. Feel free to post a comment or ask me a question. Too much? Try some of the following from Giraffe Party:

Here’s a load of resources for you…

– What is autism?
– Why we don’t support Autism Speaks:…/2013-joint-letter-to-the-spo…/
– Boycott Autism Speaks:
– Why you shouldn’t “Light It Up Blue” this month:…/please-dont-light-up-…
– Instead, let’s Tone It Down Taupe!…/tone-it-down-taupe-this-…
– What good is autism awareness?…/…/01/good-autism-awareness-do-doesnt/
– Acceptance Not Awareness:


April Blues

I have to admit, I am torn. April is almost upon us and it carries no significance to many. Easter has passed. Spring Break is a memory. The next big thing is Memorial Day and the end of school. Unless you are involved in Autism Advocacy.

Some people I am friends with on social media support Autism $peaks. The ads pop up telling me who likes the group. Then I wonder several things. Should I attempt education? Is it any of my business? They have a right to their beliefs, right?

Why do I boycott A$? I mean, they are internationally recognized, a non-profit and, well, they have a great PR team. What they publish makes sense in a way. If I were a young, or frustrated, parent….yeah, they make sense.

I would walk miles, collect pledges and wear blue. I think back 19 years and it would have made sense to me. These people want to help. They want to understand. They want my child to have a better future. Right up there with Uncle Sam, mom and apple pie.

Now, I can see things differently. A$ has only been around since 2005. Their message is that Autistics should be pitied and their carers should be pitied. Autistics have no quality of life. Autistics can’t function.

The Autism community has many divides in it because of these statements. Parents want a cure. They want a better life for their child. Who wouldn’t? Autistics try to speak over the cries of parents who state their needs are more important than those of Autistics. Parents tell those voices that they have no clue….that their child deserves better.

News flash….Autistic children grow up to be Autistic adults. Those voices that are being silenced now represent the voices of children who should be heard. By shouting over Autistics, parents are silencing their own children. A$ supports the idea that a parent deserves more….that their child is a burden….that the child won’t understand anyway.

But we do understand. Far more than we are given credit for understanding. Humans feel love. And they feel hate. They can tell when someone is dissatisfied with them. While your child may not speak, you are being told what is important. But if you listen to A$ for parenting advice, you are receiving affirmation that you are more important than your child.

So, no. No to changing a light bulb or the color of my shirt. No to supporting an organization that feels a cure is a fix. No to donating money that is being used to support a corporation that silences the very people it purports to support.

I’m no longer a naive young parent. I have two Autistic young adults. I was diagnosed Autistic three years ago. The message of A$ is that I have no value. My children are also without value. Yet, the three of us are successful in our professions. We live independent of government support. We love, feel loss and celebrate. Our lives are full of meaning.

It’s your choice to listen to A$. Your choice to give financial support. Your choice to make your children into burdens instead of celebrating them as individuals. I urge you to choose to support your friends and family instead of a corporation. If you want to give money, give locally to agencies that support families.

Listen to Autistic voices. Every person can contribute to the symphony that is life. The contributions may look different, yet each one is an integral part of the entire movement.



Um, congrats?

Life is not fair. We should all know that by now. There is no way it can be given our different perspectives. What seems fair to me may seem patently unfair to you. Without going into the whole socio-economic debate, life is just not fair.

But how do we determine “not fair” versus “discrimination” in today’s world?

I’m physically disabled. Is it “not fair” that non-disabled people use the stall intended for disabled people? I’d say yes. I would happily pass every single thing wrong with me to an individual who wants that stall. I don’t considering children to be a disability. Use the family restroom please. I also don’t consider luggage or packages to be disabilities. They don’t get their own seat on public transportation or qualify someone as needing the extra space in a stall.

I’m Autistic. So are two of my children. Is it “not fair” or “discrimination” that we face daily as we navigate a world that some feel we don’t belong in? Both, from my perspective. The “not fair” part consists of stares, disparaging remarks, being left out and flat-out bullying. It would be great if these things magically went away. However, because we’re all different and we perceive things differently, they never will.

The “discrimination” part comes into play when non-Autistic people insist on denying Autistics a voice in the discussions about Autism. When parents pour bleach into their children’s bodies to “cure” them of Autism. When our communities fail to work with us to develop supports so we can be active participants. When our co-workers treat us differently because we wear the same style clothes all the time (itchy tags!) or have responses that aren’t what is expected. This is discrimination. This is determining that because of a different way of looking at the world, we are less than deserving.

I am not less than deserving. I am not “taking” anything away from anyone else just by thinking differently or needing some extra space in a stall. I am not in need of fixing, although I’m happy to try to learn more tools to cope with a world that is overwhelmingly intolerant of differences. I will keep trying to help people understand that different is good. If we were all the same, the world would be a very boring place.

Congratulations to those who feel the word is fair and just. That must feel pretty darn good. For the rest of us, we will continue to speak up. Louder and even louder so our voices can be heard over the din of those who would silence us.



I will not light it up blue.

I do not support Autism Speaks in any of its forms. I do support Color the World, since each one of us is unique and individual as the colors we see. I also tacitly support Light it up Gold and Light it up Red. Light it up Gold is for the hearts of gold many autistics display. Light it up Red is directly countering light it up blue as red is perceived as the primary opposite of blue.


This was written by my daughter. Please take the time to read and educate yourself before you buy into propaganda. You can find the original at

This is a basic list of things to look into with Autism Speaks:

Per DSM-V, I am autistic (even though I disagree with DSM-V). I do not support this organization at all. I do support educating individuals who believe that I should be cured, and about organizations that they choose to support.


Other links to look at (some repeats):