Deficits

DEFICIT

(1) :  deficiency in amount or quality <a deficit in rainfall>
(2) :  a lack or impairment in a functional capacity <cognitive deficits> <a hearing deficit>
 (3) :  disadvantage <scored two runs to overcome a 2–1 deficit>

 

The Autism diagnosis is based on deficit, or lack, of certain skill. The focus is immediately on what cannot be seen or done. I’ve written several time on “less than” as the way society sees people with disabilities. Is it no surprise that the perception becomes reality when even those diagnosing the disorder start from a place where “lacking” is the basis for diagnosis?

I’ll tell you that I have certain skills that are not as strong as they could be. I have a very strong sense of right and wrong, which leads to heated arguments on a regular basis. I do sense grey areas, but frequently disregard grey for black and white. I am perceived as socially adept, although the reality is I am fascinated by behavior and am constantly watching people so I know how to respond. I have high anxiety around “normal” parts of life because I don’t understand how something will work out. Basically, I’m a tangle of social issues, which just so happens to be the basis of my diagnosis.

I’m not a savant in any area. I am verbal and able to communicate, unless I’m confused. Then my words don’t make sense and frustrate everyone including me. I’m educated, having attended college and pursued advanced degrees. I’m a professional. I hold a job. Fortunately, my job doesn’t demand that I interact with adults so much. I’m just not cut out for the games and machinations that seem to plague many workplaces.

I am a daughter, wife, mother and sister. I’m a mentor, a teacher and a coach. I am an active member of my community. I don’t sit behind my computer and watch the world go by. Well, most of the time at least.

We all have deficiencies. Some just come with a label. Some are labels slapped on us by society. Some we accept ourselves. If you look closely at your life, you may just find some areas where you come up short.

Are you deficient? Probably so.

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