Red Eye

A word to the wise ain’t necessary- it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.~ Bill Cosby

I’m sitting in the airport waiting to board a flight that was delayed two hours. It’s currently 11PM. Having given you that warning, here’s the latest group of thoughts…

If you don’t speak English, you will be hard pressed to find an American ticket agent who can communicate with you. Yelling at them in your native tongue really doesn’t work.

If your flight gets cancelled, don’t expect anything. Apparently “acts of  God” include rain delays. The airline doesn’t owe you compensation for the delay.

TSA night shift does not necessarily represent the best and brightest within the agency.

McDonald’s is making a killing by staying open when all the other restaurants have closed.

Wearing your pajamas in public is still passé. Do everyone a favor. If you’re over the age of say, 8, at least try to get dressed.

Many words of wisdom are shared over French fries. Did you know that in the other parts of the world, soccer is called football and the sport is currently being celebrated in Brasil (Brazil, for us uneducated masses).

Stupidity is not a handicap. Get out of the stall meant for people with disabilities. Yeah, you with the 75 pound suitcase.

It’s still rude to stare.

What ever possessed you to attempt a red eye flight to the East coast with 5 young children in tow! No cruise is worth it!!!!

Airplanes have pretty, flashing lights.

I know why the video of the man singing “All by Myself” in an airport is so popular.

I’m really glad the airline clarified that the doors would close after final boarding call and will not be reopened. That’s really a good thing unless you’re on the plane when it lands and no one pops the lock.

I’m going to need a nap. Navigating NYC at 6:30AM is not going to be fun. Doing it while sleep deprived will make it even less fun.

Finally, no matter where you go, there you are. The airlines will make sure you understand this by making frequent, obnoxious announcements about gate changes, delays and, of course, cancellations. Enjoy your flight.



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