Monthly Archives: June 2014

RTFP

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Over time, you learn more about things going on around you, just because they are part of your life experience. If you take the opportunities to learn, then your knowledge base because both wide and deep. Unfortunately, some people fail to learn and consequently are doomed to repeat their mistakes a la “Groundhog Day.”

As I write this, I am sitting in an outpatient surgical center waiting for my husband to have a relatively minor procedure done. All around me are the standard warnings about wearing a mask if you have cold/flu symptoms. Wash your hands frequently. Make sure your trash is thrown away. Big, bold signs with pictures for those who can’t comprehend the words.

Moving into the pre-op holding area I see more signs. The “5 Moments of Hand Washing” is particularly prominent. I guess this is where the downside to being medically involved comes in. The pre-op nurse appears to not understand the importance of basic sanitation. I didn’t see her wash her hands even once. She pulled on gloves…and then picked things up off the floor. She pre-filled syringes of lidocaine and dropped them into a workstation drawer. She dropped an IV set on the floor and picked it up for later use. Sharps were thrown in the trash instead of a sharps container. The whole time I wanted to say something, but I’m trying to not freak out on my husband, who I’m sure is freaking out in his own way.

To answer your question…I’m sure these centers work great for most people. Personally, I’ve had the “it only takes one germ to kill you” lecture many, many times. You won’t find me signing up for this. It’s really kind of scary how casual the staff is here. Maybe I’m just hyper-aware. Constantly on alert for ways to reduce the risks I face every day. Yeah, I’m probably over reacting and high strung.

But, there it is. RTFP- read the fine print. In this case, just read the print. Make sure you understand what’s going on around you. Speak up. Don’t just randomly agree to things. We all have a stake in improving things. Anything from the safety of our vulnerable members of society to ensuring our personal safety. Don’t go quietly into the night. I will be filling out the satisfaction questionnaire when it shows up in the mail. After all, if you don’t make any effort to enact change, who will?

New Autism Speaks Masterpost (Updated 6/20/14)

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I don’t usually reblog, but this piece contains so much information about Autism Speaks that needs to become more widely known. I highly advise people to thoroughly research the charities they support to ensure your hard earned money is being put to use the way you think it is by your chosen charity.

 

New Autism Speaks Masterpost (Updated 6/20/14).

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Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference.~ Winston Churchill

I had another doctor’s appointment today. Another specialist who is referring me to yet another specialist. Some days it seems like an endless road of cobblestones with the all too frequent speed bumps. I know I’m not alone on this journey. Many of my social media contacts seem to have similar paths. I read their updates and laugh/cry with them. I’ve met many of them in person now and am constantly amazed at how much people cope with on a daily basis.

Today my new specialist asked me how I could be so clinical and calm when describing my health. I must have looked weary as well since she asked me how many times I had repeated my history. Truth be known, I’ve lost count. I’ve been ill since 2000 and “chronically” ill since 2010. My life changed. I can’t do some things anymore. I’ve discovered new pursuits to replace the ones I’ve had to cross off. My coping mechanisms are wide in scope since I have so many things to deal with. Yes, I am clinical. It’s actually one of my ways of dealing with the speed bumps.

What I find interesting is how different people look at their circumstances. I have one friend whose battle cry is “Quality over Quantity!” This friend is determined to live a full life, however long it is. I read their updates and find myself hoping it’s a long one. The sheer will to keep getting up day after day, never knowing how beat down you’ll be at the end of the day, is a testament to the strength of the human spirit.

And I know other people who see what I envision as small challenges melt into a hot mess. Their response to a stubbed toe is worthy of an Oscar for Best Acting. Yes, I find myself chuckling and restraining myself from posting something sarcastic. I keep telling myself that I haven’t walked in their shoes and shouldn’t judge. But, really. I have a hard time sympathizing with you over a cold that lasts THREE WHOLE DAYS when I have weeks where I struggle to stay out of the hospital.

Then there are my “in between” friends. They triumph over challenges and quietly mention their latest success. They write about things that bug them and a few days later post about how it’s amazing the way things work out.  I read about their kids and family members and cheer them on. Again, seeing the human spirit in action is an amazing thing.

So what am I talking about in this blog post? Attitude. There’s a whole lot of “not fun” in this world. there’s also a lot of great opportunities. People who get hung up on the “not fun” parts absorb that attitude and, in a way, make their own lives “not fun.” I used to be one of those people. There was a time when I would have stayed in bed all day because of a cold. I’d bemoan my stuffed up nose and feather-filled head. Even in the early years of being ill, I’d do an “oh poor me” schtick for anyone who would listen.

Now, I see things differently. I weigh whether the level of “not fun” is worth doing an activity. I speak up and tell people what activities I can do without experiencing too much “not fun” as a consequence. Ever so slowly, my friends are picking up on my cues. More people are becoming less fearful about including me in activities. I like to think it’s because I’ve put them at ease. That maybe they have learned that while I’m ill, I’m still a person who needs companionship. I can still do many things. Sometimes it’s mind over body if I really want to do something.

It comes down to attitude. We have to make peace with our past, cherish our todays and celebrate our tomorrows. That’s what I told the specialist today. The look on her face was one of astonishment. And we proceeded to map our the next plan of action to deal with the latest issue. I encourage you to continue moving forward, head held high, facing the challenges with grace and dignity. It’s your call.

Red Eye

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A word to the wise ain’t necessary- it’s the stupid ones that need the advice.~ Bill Cosby

I’m sitting in the airport waiting to board a flight that was delayed two hours. It’s currently 11PM. Having given you that warning, here’s the latest group of thoughts…

If you don’t speak English, you will be hard pressed to find an American ticket agent who can communicate with you. Yelling at them in your native tongue really doesn’t work.

If your flight gets cancelled, don’t expect anything. Apparently “acts of  God” include rain delays. The airline doesn’t owe you compensation for the delay.

TSA night shift does not necessarily represent the best and brightest within the agency.

McDonald’s is making a killing by staying open when all the other restaurants have closed.

Wearing your pajamas in public is still passé. Do everyone a favor. If you’re over the age of say, 8, at least try to get dressed.

Many words of wisdom are shared over French fries. Did you know that in the other parts of the world, soccer is called football and the sport is currently being celebrated in Brasil (Brazil, for us uneducated masses).

Stupidity is not a handicap. Get out of the stall meant for people with disabilities. Yeah, you with the 75 pound suitcase.

It’s still rude to stare.

What ever possessed you to attempt a red eye flight to the East coast with 5 young children in tow! No cruise is worth it!!!!

Airplanes have pretty, flashing lights.

I know why the video of the man singing “All by Myself” in an airport is so popular.

I’m really glad the airline clarified that the doors would close after final boarding call and will not be reopened. That’s really a good thing unless you’re on the plane when it lands and no one pops the lock.

I’m going to need a nap. Navigating NYC at 6:30AM is not going to be fun. Doing it while sleep deprived will make it even less fun.

Finally, no matter where you go, there you are. The airlines will make sure you understand this by making frequent, obnoxious announcements about gate changes, delays and, of course, cancellations. Enjoy your flight.

 

 

On my Mind

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She had been doing this for some time when a man approached her and said, “Little girl, why are you doing this? Look at this beach! You can’t save all these starfish. You can’t begin to make a difference!”

The girl seemed crushed, suddenly deflated. But after a few moments, she bent down, picked up another starfish, and hurled it as far as she could into the ocean. Then she looked up at the man and replied, “Well, I made a difference to that one!”

 

I’m just going to throw this one out there. Mental health is just as important as physical health. Study after study shows that people who take care of all aspects of their health live longer, more fulfilling lives. Like many health related things, however, people don’t want to talk about it.

So I’m going to talk and hope at least one person listens. In the last two months, several people I care about have become so disillusioned with life that they decided suicide was the only way out. While I’m not an expert, I’ve been there myself and walked with many others who have felt this way. I’m not going to sugarcoat things here with the hope that at least one person understands what I’m saying.

At the time a person reaches this point, the sense of reason is gone. There is literally nothing visible to the individual aside from release. It’s like tunnel vision or wearing blinders. Distraction is almost impossible because the fixation on relief is so strong. If someone is well and truly only focused on the relief, there is not much anyone can do to stop the inevitable conclusion. You can try to talk someone off the ledge, but a truly determined individual will not hear you.

Which brings me to my next point. We’re social beings. If you start to see a friend withdraw, ask why. This is the time your words may be heard. Waiting until the cries for help become so obvious they can’t be ignored is too long. Engage your friends on a regular basis. Check on each other and listen instead of thinking about your next activity. Just imagine if we all paid as much attention to the people around us as we do to celebrities. Everyone’s well-being would improve.

The flip side of this is to recognize when you are over your head. Some people need more help than others. While a chat or a hug may help someone regain a wider view, it’s just not possible for everyone to bounce back as easily. The airline advisory to put your own mask on first is so true. If you become fixated on helping someone who doesn’t want help, you can go down as well. Especially if the person is ultimately successful despite your efforts.

Ironically, mental health professionals are some of the lowest paid individuals and yet they carry such a huge responsibility. My insurance only reimburses up to about 1/3 of what they pay my physicians. As my news feed becomes plugged up with stories about how mental illness is to blame for most shootings, I just think about how great it would be if we not only had the professionals, but also the respect for the profession. Money isn’t everything, but everyone has bills and it would be nice if the people we hope will step up could be compensated accordingly.

Many years ago a movie titled “Crocodile Dundee” screened across America. The title character is from Australia and ends up in America. He has a conversation about life’s troubles with the female lead who mentions her therapist. And the words he spoke “don’t you talk to your mates (friends)?” still reverberates in my mind. We have all become so busy that we have forgotten about our mates. In this crazy, self-absorbed society we have left our friends to fend for themselves. And that is just not cool.

For those of you who contemplate relief on a regular basis, I urge you to seek out professional help now. For those of you who think, but don’t act, reach out. There are many avenues out there available to you. Sometimes you just need to see around the next corner. For those of you who think you’re immune, I ask you to share your strength. Engage with your friends and community. Help others see the sunny side of life.

We’re all in this together. Don’t place blame. Shaming people because you think they’re weak is not okay either. You don’t know what is up next in your life. Or how well you will cope with the next curveball life throws you. It’s okay to ask for help. It’s okay to offer help. Don’t shy away from someone because they have hit a bump. You may be the one who makes a difference.