Left Behind

There’s so much about Autism that creates empty space. You want friends, but being social is damn near impossible. You want to work, but landing that job requires some skills you don’t know how to express. You want company, but the thought of a “party” is draining. You want people to value YOU, but they can’t see past the diagnosis.

Other things make me feel like I live in a different age. Autism $peaks was founded in 2005, 8 years after my son was diagnosed. It was never part of our “awareness” as they seek to catch vulnerable parents right after diagnosis. ABA started flexing its wings in 2004, although it’s been around since 1960 as a way to rehabilitate social deviants.Hopefully that gets a few of you thinking.

Just today on social media, I was following a conversation about all the therapies and equipment being provided to families with children on the Spectrum. And I have to wonder, with all this support, how come Autism $peaks isn’t obsolete?

And yes, I do wonder how things would be different if my children’s (and mine) needs had been addressed instead of being punished. Tactile defensiveness? You’ll outgrow it with exposure. Social awkwardness? Things change with time. Stimming? You’ll need to stop that to fit in. Here’s a substitute action until you learn to quit.

Now I understand some of the bitterness I feel towards people. I’m looking at “haves” and “have-nots” while wondering if it really makes a difference. If you “have” all the latest and greatest shiny things, will you eventually exceed expectations because of the shiny things or because you can “pass?” Did we miss out because we made do with what we had, that didn’t include any shiny things?

I guess we’ll have some answers 10 years from now when this group of Autistic children are grown and starting their adult lives. Did they benefit or are things still the same? Are they better at “passing” or have they reached acceptance both within themselves and their communities?

Food for thought……

 

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